I couldn’t say the words
the thought would not manifest;
silence reigned the space
between
my lips
and
your ears
I speak of what I do not know
perpetually
why then
is this subject different?
Am I afraid that I may
cause pain?
Or am I scared of pain myself?
(I’m masochistically inclined to believe the former)
Or is it something entirely different?
Is this type of commitment
(whatever these words connotatively imply)
daunting?Am I scared of the past?
Am I scared of the future?
Am I scared of you?
Am I scared of myself?
Am I selfish?
Sometimes that seems the most likely
It’s strange to think
that 3 free morphemes
6 phonemes
one or two seconds
of vocal reverberation
just a bit of
displaced air
causes so much anxiety
it’s so easy to say
usually…
but not last night.
I offered,
support,
encouragement,
hope,
logical comfort,
but when it came time
I couldn’t say
those three words
you know which
we all know which
I think them when
I see you, and my mind
attempts to dictate
what I’m feeling
But I can’t say them
why can’t I say them?
Is it the same reason you’ve never said them to me?
probably not…
